The Crash Test Dummy Video Blog

Demolition

2007-05-31T02:02:00.000-07:00

We are currently off our bike on doctors orders so are filling in the gap with this video shot from our bedroom and balcony. Not surprisingly we eagerly await a heavy rain to wash the dust off the house.
The price of steel is so high in China now that all the rebar is reclaimed and carted off on trucks at the end.

Staying Put - for now.

2007-04-24T23:55:00.000-07:00

All the recent media attention on the Chongqing nail house reminded us of two similar Shanghai cases just around the corner. The first one promptly disapeared the next week but the half-a-house across the road remains intact with its tennants still running their sugar cane distribution business from the kitchen.
Both these houses used to be part of streets that were demolished to make way for the high-rise development behind.

Hello? I'm on a Bike

2007-04-15T23:06:00.000-07:00

Hello?...hello? yes...I'm on a bike...hello?...what?... Yes, I'll be..hello?... home for dinner...Yes...hello?... noodles sounds goo... Oh bugger!

Hard (?) Hat

2007-04-02T23:58:00.000-07:00

In another sign of the times we spotted this guy in a wicker hardhat and realised that we haven't seen one in years. Back in the 90's these were an everyday sight but in Shanghai at least they have been largely consigned to history.

We're back!

2007-04-02T23:51:00.000-07:00

During our recent blocked haitus the Crash Test Dummy was captured completely off his bike - and in the rain - by Sinocities.com

Great Firewall of China

2007-03-22T17:44:00.000-07:00

The Great Firewall of China has kicked in again and we are currently unable to access Blogger to post from here. It's not just us - all of China is in the same boat.
Keep an eye on the situation by reading China Herald and normal service will be resumed as soon as the net nanny lets us come out to play again.
YouTube currently remains unaffected so The Crash Test Dummy will continue to post there and this page will catch up later.

Knock, Knock

2007-03-15T03:40:00.000-07:00

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Isabel.
Isabel who?
Is a bell necessary on a bicycle?

To test this we edited together all the times we used our bell on the way to work today. They are:
Van pulling out, overtaking a cyclist, overtaking a cyclist, jaywalkers, pedestrian in the road, pedestrian in the road, scooters and cyclists rubbernecking a cop giving a ticket, van reversing into traffic, pedestrian in the cycle lane, scooters trying to jump a red light, overtaking a cyclist, overtaking sporty kid on a bike who can't believe a forty-something white guy is going faster than him, scooters jumping a red light, two cars and a scooter turning into oncoming traffic, scooter coming out of the sun on the wrong side of the road, a wheelchair and two more jaywalkers.

Isabel necessary on a bicycle? She certainly is!

Bus Out Of Hell

2007-03-08T18:43:00.000-08:00

We usually keep clear of buses anyway but this one was on a mission! Guangzhou city in the south of China banned the use of horns 2 years ago and we keep waiting for the same ban to be enforced in Shanghai. Who was he tooting at anyway? The road was empty apart from me and I don't think he even noticed me on the bike. The best theory we have is that his shift is nearly over and he wants to get back to that oldest established, permanently rolling, mahjong game at the depot.

But Is It Art?

2007-03-03T03:01:00.000-08:00

We think it is. Last year we had the opportunity to visit China's famous Flying Pigeon Bicycle factory in Tianjin - see photos below - and brought home this souvenir.
We fondly remember wobbling our first Flying Pigeon across Tiananmen Square in 1989 but have to admit that these days we prefer the comfort of a mountain bike (especially since our route to work frequently takes us across a building site) and the last time we lived in Beijing in '98 our office WAS a building site. So this Flying Pigeon hangs proudly on the courtyard wall waiting for a visitor brave enough to take it out for a spin.

Steel frames piled up

Frames being welded

Spokes go in

Flying Pigeon badges

Chickens on a Scooter

2007-02-23T02:19:00.000-08:00

Vegetarians and squeamish readers of this blog should once again avert their eyes.
Here in Asia we live by one motto: never buy a dead chicken. The result is that live chickens get moved around on the backs of trucks, trikes, scooters and bicycles. These guys are headed for the market beyond that bridge at the end of the road and that chicken on the top knows it. Hear him make a last request for a blindfold - or was that a Double Happiness cigarette?

Up In Smoke

2007-02-18T01:03:00.000-08:00

Midnight at Chinese New Year on The Crash Test Dummy's street in Shanghai. It's actually a clear night - all that haze is the smoke of tens of thousands of fireworks drifting across the city. Incredibly Wingman actually slept through all this.

The New Year Build Up

2007-02-13T20:47:00.000-08:00

Chinese New Year is just around the corner and the build up to the big bang on saturday night has begun as people just can't wait to make a noise.
The first set of firecrackers goes off unseen down a side alley but the second lot was right by our ear. That lady in the red coat wasn't too pleased, I can tell you.

There Goes the Neighbourhood

2007-02-09T23:48:00.000-08:00

This large chinese character painted on a building near our house is a common sight in all Chinese cities but especially in the fast changing ones in the east of the country. It means "take apart" and roughly translates here as "due for demolition". There goes the neighbourhood - literally. The local fruit stall seems to be holding out for now. We'll see how long she lasts.

Sausages

2007-02-05T21:59:00.000-08:00

Nobody misses a good drying day in Shanghai. In winter, clothes are dried, bedding is aired - and foodstuffs are cured. Spot the row of sausages drying above the washing. Harder to spot is the bundle of ducks hanging by the lamppost. Cycling around I also see fish, beef and pork swinging gently in the pollution.

It's All Gone "Mythbusters"

2007-01-31T23:03:00.000-08:00

As the traffic here worsens, concerned parents find new ways to protect their kids on the backs of their bikes.
This man clearly gets Discovery Channel and has built a Mythbusters-style blast screen to protect other road users in case his child explodes.
Adam and Jamie would be proud.

Cute Kid

2006-12-05T23:20:00.000-08:00

If you're going to go through a bus stop while riding on the wrong side of the road you might as well have a cute kid perched on the front.

On a Break

2006-12-01T02:37:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the long break, The Crash Test Dummy was in Tibet. We took the train. Tibet is so ethereal that they don't ride their bikes, they sail them - according to this bike shop in Lhasa, at least.

Squeeze Me!

2006-11-08T02:15:00.000-08:00

A blue Mazda jumps the lights. He gets caught mid-crossing and makes his second mistake - leaving a 4 foot gap between him and the bus in front. 22 bicycles and scooters (count 'em) squeeze through before he gets a chance to move again. The moral: never give a cyclist an even break.

Green Light

2006-10-17T02:27:00.000-07:00

So you've got a green light - lucky you. But what does a green light here REALLY mean?
Simple. It means that somewhere at the same junction 6 bicycles and a couple of scooters are jumping a red. THAT'S what it means.

Little Old Lady With Bloody Great Sword

2006-10-13T02:27:00.000-07:00

As The Crash Test Dummy is still off bikes for a few more days we thought we'd take the opportunity to blog this clip of tai chi practice in the local park.
Very beautiful, very graceful.
A friend of ours tried this in a park in London once and nearly got arrested.

Off Games

2006-10-09T02:43:00.000-07:00

Thanks to a torn ligament The Crash Test Dummy is off games (and bicycles) for a few days. We could say we were para-gliding or skydiving but actually we were playing laser tag with Wingman (see sidebar photo page link) and his friends - damn, those five year olds make small targets!

Our having to work from home was compensated, however, by finding our photo on the comingsoon.net website. We spent a fun couple of days as a film extra on The Painted Veil last year. The film, with Edward Norton and Naomi Watts is due out in December and we will be very disappointed if The Crash Test Dummy's credit doesn't read "Blurry Balding Guy in Tux".

Bus Stop Bungle

2006-10-08T02:54:00.000-07:00

Bus stops. I hate bus stops.
The buses have to cut across the bike lane then load and unload passengers into it (and anyway, on this occasion, spot the car parked in the cycle lane / bus stop.
So do you get caught up in all that - or do you overtake the bus on the outside, dodge the 3 girls jaywalking past a police car, get cut up by a red moped, get squeezed between said cop car and a black sedan while trying to get back into the cycle lane then get squeezed between the next bus and a taxi - only to have the cycle lane vanish at the next bottleneck anyway?

Drummer Girls (OK, Ladies)

2006-10-03T03:58:00.000-07:00

Public spaces in China get used for all sorts of groups in the mornings doing tai chi, fan dancing, wushu, ballroom dancing and drumming.
These gals have usually just packed up as I pass their rehearsal space in front of a department store but one day last week
Wingman's school bus came early so I got a head start and caught their last few bars.

I Love the Smell of Adrenalin in the Mornings

2006-09-29T04:03:00.000-07:00

Ah, yes - adrenalin. It works twice as fast as caffeine and it's cheaper than anything they sell in Starbucks. You get plenty of it on a Shanghai bicycle commute to make sure you're fully awake by the time you reach the office.
Did you see that taxi coming? No, nor did I.

Wheelchair Chicken

2006-09-26T16:21:00.000-07:00

A man in a motorised wheelchair makes a dodgy left turn, playing chicken with an oncoming taxi. I think I see how he ended up in a chair in the first place!

What's a Computer Delivery Guy to Do?

2006-09-21T16:25:00.000-07:00

I often see guys on mopeds delivering computer equipment. But what happens if they have one box too many?
Here, our delivery guy just can't quite fit himself plus all 3 boxes on the bike so heputs 2 boxes on the bike, puts the bike on
a delivery trike then adds himself and the 3rd box to the trike. Presumably he needs the moped to get back again.
Trike guy is game at the start but soon hits a gradient and computer guy has to take a walk.

Rain Again

2006-09-06T16:29:00.000-07:00

More like rain at last! Shanghai summers can be hot and sticky but they are usually punctuated by weekly thunderstorms which clear the air for a bit and cool things down. This year it hasn't really rained for weeks so today's downpour is a relief.
Perhaps now we can get the temperature back below 90!In terms of rain capes I count 22 blue, 8 red, 5 yellow, 2 green and a girl in a wet t-shirt (just watch those youtube stats soar!)

No Room on the Trike

2006-08-30T16:35:00.000-07:00

So anyway, I was coming up behind this tricycle loaded up with bamboo scaffolding and thinking "well, there goes somebody's neighborhood" but as I passed him I noticed the trike is so overloaded that the poor guy can't even ride it. There's no room on the trike so he's having to push - in fact, that front tyre isn't even touching the ground.

Left is Right, Right?

2006-08-17T16:40:00.000-07:00

OK, try to stay with me here.
In China we drive on the right. So at a crossroads junction, when the lights change, the traffic coming towards you but wanting
to turn left will pass you on the left, wait for a gap and then turn left - right?
Wrong! What actually happens is the traffic turning left sees the oncoming cars and bikes and heads straight across their path, passing as many as possible on the right, forcing oncoming traffic into
the center.
Wow, lucky there's a policeman at this junction to keep everyone in line!

It's Too Darn Hot

2006-08-08T17:48:00.000-07:00

Yes it's too darn hot. Finally, Shanghai's pollution encrusted palm trees don't look out of place.
If all else fails, get your girlfriend to sit on the back of your bicycle with a parasol.
The Crash Test Dummy, lacking one of these, is taking the (probably cheaper) option and going to work in a cab most days until the temperature drops below 30 again.

Blindfold

2006-07-31T17:58:00.000-07:00

If you're going to ride around the streets of Shanghai it really is best NOT to do it blindfold.
I can't stress this enough.

Caped Crusaders

2006-06-30T18:06:00.000-07:00

Now that summer is here, Shanghai's caped crusaders fly through the city on mopeds and bicycles.And what are they crusading for? White skin.Tans are a no-no for most of the city's women and the cosmetics industry is making a killing with skin whitening creams.For those looking to join the trend, capes accessorize well with gloves and hats. Add shades for that extra cool look.

Hey, That Bloke's Got a Tree on His Bike

2006-06-28T18:27:00.000-07:00

In the mid 1990's Shanghai was home to 80% of the world's cranes. In the late 1990's many of the high-rise office and apartment blocks that they built stood empty. Now, however, they are full, and this guy on the bike proves it. He's one of hundreds in the city delivering indoor plants to decorate once empty lobbies, homes and offices.

Vegetarians, Look Away Now

2006-06-23T18:48:00.000-07:00

The Crash Test Dummy has been traveling this week so this post comes from a car on the Nanjing Expressway.Pork is the main meat in Chinese food and ifyou ever wondered how it gets to the kitchen, here's your answer.
Unfortunately, as it all ends up chopped into wok-size pieces, we have all this pork traveling around the country but you still can't get a decent bacon sandwich here for love nor money.

Free Wheeling Beer

2006-06-19T18:58:00.000-07:00

Coming down off this Suzhou Creek bridge is the only free-wheeling section of my ride. With the mess of traffic at the bottom it's best to hold back a bit - even more so if you're carrying a heavy load balanced on the back of your bike. Sixty full bottles of beer, for example.
Also, mentioning "free" and "beer" seems to boost my youtube stats. I can't think why but here goes, once more for luck - Free! Beer! :-)

Who Me, Officer?

2006-06-16T19:01:00.000-07:00

As with the Traffic assistants, Shanghai's police do as good as they can under the circumstances.
Here's a typical dilemma: our passing cop spots a moped vegetable delivery guy, two cyclists and the jaywalker in the white dress all crossing illegally. He can't nab them all so he chooses the girl because she's ignored both a pedestrian crossing AND a footbridge to walk straight across this busy junction. Of course, trying to brush him off doesn't do her any favours at all!

Top Gun

2006-06-13T19:05:00.000-07:00

Continuing our series of alternative head-gear, we present a cool dude in a Chinese fighter pilot's helmet.
We have to admit, The Crash Test Dummy has seen these for sale and has been tempted to get one. We're just not sure how cool it would look on a mountain bike - and we don't want Wingman to get jealous.

The Traffic Guys

2006-06-12T19:16:00.000-07:00

Shanghai's traffic guys do as good a job as they can under the circumstances. They're fighting against a traffic system that gives a green light to both vehicles and pedestrians at the same time and a driving public that thinks the rules don't apply to them.
Mind you, we'll all be happier once they look at the road before waving you out. I have seen them happily usher bikes and pedestrians into the path of oncoming buses that have jumped the lights - more than once.

On Your Horse - Shanghai Style

2006-06-08T19:08:00.000-07:00

Entrepreneurism in action! Spot the lady wearing a snazzy velvet maroon riding hat (on the red moped). This is a common sight in Shanghai where (I presume) a Chinese manufacturer of riding hats for export has created a local market for the same product. They're popular with both men and women and this lady sports the maroon model with a visor.
Ironically, in Chinese, the expression "I'm on my way" translates more literally as "I'm coming on horseback" (wo ma shang lai).

Red light Means ... er ... Whatever You Want, Really

2006-06-05T19:18:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, it's red. I said it's a RED light. It's re... Oh, what the hell. Nobody's listening to me, anyway.
You don't have to spend long on a bike in China to realize that while the car drivers are far from perfect it's the bicycles, mopeds and pedestrians that break most of the rules.
I count 11 cyclists jumping this red light.

Rainy Day

2006-06-01T19:32:00.000-07:00

Rainy day today so I wimped out and took a cab to work. The great Chinese rain cape does a good job but in heavy downpours all the rain collects in the sheet that stretches over the handlebars. This results in cycling with a small pond in your
lap - so not very conducive to filming.
The guys crossing the road with a tricycle are carrying bamboo scaffold poles. Not as popular here as they are in Hong Kong, bamboo is used only on low rise projects in Shanghai. Whole blocks will disappear behind it and a week or two later it is removed to reveal either repainted houses or an empty plot of land.

Tschaikovsky Rides Out

2006-04-29T19:36:00.000-07:00

The short video that started the Shanghai Crash Test Dummy video blog.